Useful words to help you along the way

Meaning behind this mantra: No matter how good or bad we feel, no feeling lasts forever. Appreciate when things are going well, but also remember when things aren't going well, that they will get better.

Meaning behind this mantra: Anxiety over the future can be crippling, making us worry about something that hasn't happened yet—or may never even happen. Instead, it might be worth remembering that tomorrow's problems should be left for tomorrow.

Meaning behind this mantra: Radical acceptance means coming to terms with the past, accepting what has already happened so we can move on instead of dwelling on it. Thus, we can't change the past, but we can use what we've learned to improve our future.

Meaning behind this mantra: No matter what you're dealing with right now, remember that you've overcome many struggles to get here. You can overcome this one, too.

Meaning behind this mantra: Pain is temporary, and you've survived many painful moments already. This is just another one.

Meaning behind this mantra: We all experience intrusive, negative thoughts, which prey on our anxieties and self-esteem. We can't always avoid such thoughts, but we can control our responses to them.

Meaning behind this mantra: Anxiety is a part of life, and it's OK to feel anxious or "not right" while still doing what we need to do.

Meaning behind this mantra: We can't control other people's actions or change our past, so sometimes the best approach is just to say, "So what?" and focus on what we can do moving forward.

Everyone presents an idealised version of themself to the outside world, in order to project their success or happiness, or even as a defence mechanism against critism. This means that when we compare ourselves with another people, we're making comparisons with their idealised versions, ignoring the fact that, like us, they also have problems, insecurities, and worries that plague them. The healthiest thing we can do, therefore, is to avoid to benchmarking our happiness against someone else's—don't base our happiness on someone else's definition of it, don't compare our happiness with theirs, and instead find ways to be happy for our own sake.

It's normal to want to fit in. We see how our favourite celebrities dress, pay attention to the latest trends, and in academia, how our professors flaunt their achievements and talk grandiloquently about themselves. It inspires or intimidates, and even if we know it's silly to copy others, being part of the in-group is tempting. Unfortunately, fitting in can mean sacrificing our true selves, and in so doing remove what was interesting about us in the first place. At the same time, trends change; if we want to be part of the in-group forever, we will spend our lives contorting to other people's standards, until we end up irrelevant and out of touch because trends will always outpace us. At point, with our formative years long gone, it's too late for us to know our true selves. Being different is not only OK, being comfortable with yourself will save you from many headaches in life—in addition to just making you a more interesting individual.

Viewing happiness in the context of suffering may seem pessimistic, but it has helped me to appreciate the better moments in my life. Consider: what is the dopamine-chasing we do on our phones but an attempt to forget about our worries for a moment—to alleviate our suffering? Addictive substances or activities (including some social media) exploit the release of dopamine, and while it may be pleasureable in the short-term, we have to continually engage to feel something, either becoming addicted or feeling "empty" if we stop. It's not healthy, but more importantly, it's also not fulfilling, and understanding this can help us find activities that are both pleasureable and fulfilling.

This reminder stems from my all-too-common experience of students apologising endlessly for mistakes (and making excuses for them) instead of thinking of what they can do next to fix it. While apologies can be meaningful, they can also feel empty, especially when delivered repeatedly. As humans, we tend the view the world as revolving around us, prioritising our own problems and forgetting that our colleagues and friends also have lives to live. A rule of thumb here is that everyone is going through their own nonsense, and sometimes injecting our own nonsense just ends up burdening them further. We have to be mindful of our own emotional dumping and respectful of our friends' boundaries.